I Am a Slave

I looked up a resource for reflecting on my identity in Christ and came across this: My Identity in Christ. I spent some time in 1 Corinthians 6 and focused on these verses (see context below):

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

In thinking about my identity in Christ, I thought it was really important to see that I am not my own, I have been bought with a price, the precious blood of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:18-19). It reminded me of Pastor Greene's sermon a couple of weeks ago when he was talking about slaves and masters. He pointed out that God is our Master and we are His slaves, not in the African American slave trade sense, but in the Old Testament Hebrew slave system sense (it would take a lot to fully explain that and I'm not going to do that here). The master would provide for his slaves and they would be part of his household, but the slave would be obligated to obey his master always, any time. I thought of how this is different from a job. One goes to work and listens to their boss, but when they come home, their time is their own. I realized that this is often how I look at my obligation to God. I do the things I think God wants me to do and then it is my time to do what I want to do. Well, if God is really my Master, then I must obey Him 24/7. I realized the thought of this did not make me happy! I did not think I would like doing what God wants me to do all the time. I want time to do what I think is fun. How sad that I am believing a lie that I would not have joy obeying my heavenly Father. I need my mind to be transformed! I believe. Help my unbelief!

12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. From 1 Corinthians 6 ESV

Beloved? More Questions Than Answers

“and a voice came from heaven, “'You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.'” Luke 3:22b

I read this and tears came to my eyes. “Do you really feel this way about me, God? Am I your beloved? Are you pleased with me?”

I know this is God the Father talking to Jesus and he wasn't talking to me. But there are plenty of passages that speak of God's love for us:

16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” from John 3

and

8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” from Romans 5

But that is speaking of the masses. Somehow I don't feel like God loves me, Kimberly Ann Kuhr White, when I read those verses. And I know there is a disconnect. Sure, if someone were to ask me if God loves me I would say yes. I know it in my head. But it has not fully penetrated my heart and mind. And that is seen in my actions as I continue to seek love and approval from other people rather than have my relational needs met fully in Him.

There are other verses I go to that seem more personal to me:

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;

he will gather the lambs in his arms;

he will carry them in his bosom,

and gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11

I love this picture of a tender shepherd's love.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1John 3:1

I love that in 1John 2 (and throughout the book) John calls them, “Beloved” and “My little children”, and “My dear children”. I know this is John addressing them, but somehow it speaks of the Father's love to me.

I started recounting all the ways that God has shown love to me by His provision for me: giving me Geoff as a husband; giving me 11 beautiful children; surprise packages left on our doorstep that are still a mystery to us; sending Emily Bentz and then Deb Warning to our house just in time for Mary Ann to go to the hospital; providing food, schooling, and care for our other children while Mary Ann was in the hospital for 21 days; leading our church family to put a second story addition on our house for us. The list goes on and on. And while I do feel loved by these things and am amazed that God has provided such, there is still a disconnect. What is the problem? It does not make any sense that I can not see God's love for me in these things and in the truth of his word. God I believe. Help my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)